Shake-the-pear

You are NOT in for what you thought you were in for when you decided to read this post seeing the heading.

Now.

Shakespeare (Yes, that is the proper form of the deformed phrase in my heading) was a very very intelligent fellow. Slightly mad, maybe. But intelligent, nevertheless.

Seshpare (as my english teacher might refer to him by) thought of things that no average literary artist might think of today. For example, a knight who had no dignity making a solemn oath that some mustard had gone bad.

See, it's creative, innovative, DIFFERENT certainly, original and......... err.... slightly retarded. No offense Mr. Shakey.

The play concepts were plotted cleverly, although somewhere along the way Mr. Pear lost it. Lost what, you may ask? Not the will to complete the play, not the idea, not the writing talent. His sanity, oh yes.

His plays that he meant to come under the genre of 'Fantasy'..... did come under that and his concepts were sensible..............NOT.

Now, Mr Shakespeare had writing talent, oh yes. That is certainly not being denied here. Just.... eccentric path of thought and.. ok. cutting to the chase here. HE TALKED THE LANGUAGE OF MENTAL. Thee, thou, tho, thy wth!? Instead of going "Thou hath hurt thy innermost feelings that thy hath wrapped and safekept for eternal length of time, thou art banished from the Kingdom, this very land that we step foot upon at this very instant and henceforth shalt never show thyself in this sacred space that we shall be dwelt in.", why can't he just say "Look dude, whatever. get lost."

See? So simple.

Looks like Sir Literary Genius had a couple of minor setbacks with his writing. they were works slightly resembling nonsense.

I would very much like to point out that this is told from the mind of a minor. BUT, if thou could fetch me an adult who can actually read a whole unabridged play of shakespeares and say that that person actually:

i] survived it

ii] has retained the same mental position that he hath started out with

iii] enjoyed it (provided the clause ii is satisfied)

,

Thou shalt be praised.

Whoops. Looks like Shakespearitis is contagious.

;)

ClassRoom Chronicles #2

So we're all writing our exam right. It's class 9&10 together and we [9] had our chemistry exam that day. which we were completely prepared for but it was a very tough paper.

so there's about twenty minutes left until we have to stop writing and our invigilator is just incapable of sitting down quietly for two seconds.

Mrs. X (targets one pitiful boy sitting in the corner and nearly snapping his pencil into two out of frustration that he did not know the formula of Methyl Alocohol) - what you going to do after the exam?

Anxious boy - i dont know ma'am [turns back to paper]

Mrs. X - not going for a holiday anywhere?

AB -no maam.. for now im just writing my exam [not looking up]

mrs x - what's your paper about? [snatches paper and reads through it]

AB- maam im writing my exam!

mrs. x -mm okay write write. [gives back paper; anxious boy resumes scribbling down answers]

Ab [mutters] - god this woman....

mrs. x -when i was small, chemistry was not a big problem for me. it was only maths.

in that also, i liked arithmetic a lot...... algebra was not a strong point for me.

AB - [smoke escapes from ears enough to boil water for tea]

[this conversation continues one-sidedly for a while]

mrs. x - how much do you have left?

AB - a lot, maam.

mrs x - {begins to walk away to annoy another poor boy who is buried in sheets of chemstry equations} hmmm... write fast. you need lots of concentration for chemistry. difficult subject. Make sure you dont get distracted.

[Pencil snaps into two]

Fichix

If there is one thing that even the smartest person in the world can NOT comprehend, it's physics.

It's so ABSTRACT and I think a synonym for it would be 'pointless'

I have high doubts about whether when I'm 50 and walking on the street, some nut is going to hold a dagger to my throat and say "If you do not prove that rays of light after reflection appear to meet at a point to form a virtual image, I shall slit your throat." High doubts I have about that. High doubts. However, the global board of education seems to think that is likely to happen.

Why don't they PROVE that that's what is going to happen BEFORE THEY subject the world to such torment of studying analysis of a stupid thermometer that we use once in like......a long time.... when we get sick and really don't care if mercury or water or lemon juice is inside the stupid stick thing. For gods' sake, we chuck it somewhere the day we get better and move on with physics-ridden life!

And I honestly do not care about upthrust or pressure in sea water or some nonsense. If I'm going to fall into the sea, I'll make sure the Coast Guard is around. Really, what am I going to do knowing that there is upthrust to keep me afloat if I am in a situation close to drowning?

Upthrust is there only in the sea. Where is it going to go? These people think that if they don't put it down on paper and drill kids to learn about such abnormal crap, then upthrust is going to get angry with them and stop........well....upthrusting.

Gah. '

The board of education has GOT to wake up and replace subjects like PHYSICS with stuff like.... like.... music! Music is an ART okay?!

Music is CULTURE. music MUST be studied. Music is an upcoming phenomenon! That uh... influences the average ... citizen's.. mind!

ANYWAY.

my point being,

PHYSICS MUST BE ERADICATED!

Physics is a disease. A FATAL disease. Spread by Physics teachers and textbooks.

AVOID. Take a vaccine (Anti-Physics Shot. It has not been invented yet, so for the time being we shall stick to hours and hours of complaining about physics and making it a point to not study it.)

Stay away from it at all costs!! OUTBREAK of a pandemic of PHYSIXICITIS has broken out..... a long time ago. yeah. people suck. they still cant get rid of it. WAKE UP BRAINLESS OAFS.

And yes. All the above was because I wrote my physics exam today. And yes- I did not do well.

I think.

Famous quotes by (un)famous people...! #1

"Amirtha says: hey hold onmg one sec; astro walkingn ongng keybfoardejwka"

"By 'be impulsive', you mean do nothing?" - Sashi XD

"OOOOOh i love this cat! it reminds me of my dogs" - Prar... sigh. you're such a question mark :P

Chandler: What are you doing?!

Rachel/Phoebe: Searching for our christmas presents from monica!

Chandler: That's terrible!

Phoebe: No no! we do it every year!

Chandler: Oh..... that makes it.....not.....terrible..?

"I finally ate cheesecake!!!!!"- Hen

Me: Dang... astro [puppy]'s teething pretty bad....

A: its part of pet ownership though isnt it?

Me: yeah but its really bad... worse than an avg puppy bites....

A: thats what you get for a cross between a dog, cow, horse, cat...

Me: dont forget bunny.

Me: AARGH IM SO FRUSTRATED. I WANNA............................KILL.......MYSELF!!!!!

A: hmm.. want some help? i've nothing to do till two.. That's when i have to go catch a movie.... [looks at watch] but i guess i could squeeze in destructing a walking thing before then...

K: Shhhiiitteee...!! I havent studied half of this stuff for tomorrow's exam! What do you suggest I concentrate on?

Me: Look, either you skip the second part of the chapter completely and just concentrate on the first and finish off fast, or you study everything keeping no sharp objects within a close distance.

Lyrics not that important?

Whenever I listen to a song for the first time, I'm like 'hmm... catchy' or 'hmm.... NOT catchy :S'

And I realized, I never ever look at anything more than the tune; what about the amazing voice of the singer or the fantastic thought-provoking lyrics?

Recently I was listening to this song with lyrics that rhymed yet tied up together so beautifully! Half the time, lyricists get bugged halfway through the song and their rhyming skills deteriorate so quickly. I'll give you an example.

In the beginning, they're rhyming stuff like "assumption" and "fraction" and suddenly they start rhyming "mad" and "sad"

And half the singers? They don't care WHAT they sing, as long as they get a cd out!

One sings about some blithering idiot who dumped them, one sings about some old memory, one sings about some breakup, one sings about their 'soulmate' and before we know it, there'll be songs about cows and cats. And we'll be sitting and listening to it also.

And thn of course, there's the category of 'music' that comprises mainly of a swear word dictionary, as common human shall call it "rap".

Rap? ?More like a RIP to their chances of their song ever getting categorized into the occurring phenomenon called "music".

Although there was this one particular song, that I realllllly realllly liked. The lyrics were so true and it makes us realize what's really happening! Catchy too =)

The bottom line is, we really have got to wake up and find out what the hell random people who claim they can "Sing" are drilling into our hollow heads and also passing off as musicians :P [some of them anyway, im not saying they aren't good, i'm just saying that they randomly decide that singing is some cakewalk thing that any jobless dolt can do if they have too much time with themselves and just throw a few words together and imitate MJ (Rest In Peace)]

You must have heard of this song.... even if you have, just read the lyrics because theyre beautiful.

Shania Twain, Ka-ching

We live in a greedy little world--
that teaches every little boy and girl
To earn as much as they can possibly--
then turn around and Spend it foolishly
We've created us a credit card mess
We spend the money that we don't possess
Our religion is to go and blow it all
So it's shoppin' every Sunday at the mall

All we ever want is more
A lot more than we had before
So take me to the nearest store

[chorus]
Can you hear it ring
It makes you wanna sing
It's such a beautiful thing--Ka-ching!
Lots of diamond rings
The happiness it brings
You'll live like a king
With lots of money and things

When you're broke go and get a loan
Take out another mortgage on your home
Consolidate so you can afford
To go and spend some more when you get bored

All we ever want is more
A lot more than we had before
So take me to the nearest store

[Repeat Chorus]

Let's swing
Dig deeper in your pocket
Oh, yeah, ha
Come on I know you've got it
Dig deeper in your wallet
Oh

All we ever want is more
A lot more than we had before
So take me to the nearest store

[Repeat Chorus]

Can you hear it ring
It makes you wanna sing
You'll live like a king
With lots of money and things
Ka-ching!

ClassRoom Chronicles #1

So I'm in class right,

and my teacher [Mrs X we shall say] is really....................... eccentric for want of a vaguely defining word. She's been harrassing a loony boy to cut his godforsaken hair so that he may not be confused with a newly-washed ungroomed poodle.

Scene:

Mrs X: So, in the olden times, in the history of the Ancient Civilization, the local administrators--- Why did you not cut your hair i thought i told you to why you being so disobedient HUH.

(all the above said in one breath)

---------Confusion in classroom------------

----------Enlightening realization that we have deviated from text-book-imparted knowledge------------

PD [Poodle Dude] - Ummmmmmmm, well....... Mrs. X......... I was............erm............... busy?

Mrs. X: For 12 days?

PD: yea?

Mrs X: Come up with a better excuse.

PD: No hair salon gave me an appointment.

Mrs X: In a city with at least 200 salons, not ONE was free, vah, the city must be experiencing lack of hair on heads now.

--------Hiccups+Laughter (hiccups donated by a girl who ate a sandwich too fast)--------

PD [head hung low]: i was busy on sunday.... i had to go out.......

Mrs X: And what were you doing on saturday? Preparing to go out hmm?

PD: =S

Mrs X: Now go bury yourself in your hair or something and stop annoying me.

[dismissal wave]

Murmuring at the back:

A [random person] to PD: Atleast your getting yelled at for some random thing, I have missed out on SO MUCH IN LIFE I TELL YOU. My life is crumbling to half it really is.

I feel so down and out. Depressed. So dejected. My happiness has faded away into greyness at the back of the picture----

PD: Dude. What the hell happened.

A: Oh, somebody ate my peanut butter sandwich.

--------------Hysterics of laughter contributed by single soul, namely.....................

self.------------

:)

Wrong+Right= ?

Really, I fail to understand people's motives sometimes.

Wrong+Right=..................................... ____.........???????????

Understand that a wrong + a right do NOT cancel each other out. it stays as one wrong and one right only.

but my story here, has nothing to do with this, because apparently in the end, i was doing nothing worthwhile to begin with.

but yeah, im going to bore you with it whether you like it or not. (please don't exit this screen. this screen likes to be read and then exitted)

Okay, so a year ago, this annoying, grumpy, cranky, sorrowful, sadistic woman [one of my teachers] signs me up for this "Environmental Project" for some National Competition. So here, apparently we have to do write ups, and 'try to make the world a better place'. I'm sure a handful of us are reallllly gonna be able to do that miraculously overnight.

I didn't even want to do this stupid thing. Now, don't do the think that I be not like environment. I am liking environment lots lots. But god... so boring! I meant the environment; god isn't boring, sorry god, if you're offended. [This line is copyrighted by one of my friends so sorry for reproducing it, I just found it humourously stimulating] Yeah, so anyway. I got to my first 'Environment Club Meeting' thingies (quite reluctantly I may add, and mumbling, muttering and making lives miserable for any other passengers in the transporting four wheeeler).

I stroll in to find a bunch of actually enthusiastic kids (ENTHUSIASTIC. ENTHUSIASTIC AT SUCH A BORING TIME! OKAY, i hyperventilated enough that time, so I'll spare you the details) + a super boring teacher who seemed to think that Irritating-teenagers-to-the-point-where-they-give-in-and-grumpily-agree-to-be-environmentsavingnitwits is the best existing occupation. I wanted to gift her my shoe in an impolite manner.

ANYWAY, the first assignment we have, is to 'make a scrapbook on How to be kind to the environment around the household' and this woman [we shall refer to her as Mrs. X] lists some stuff we can write down and stick pictures on the scrapbook.

One of her majorly intellectual suggestions: Throw all household waste in the trash can. Right, because I'm randomly going to gallivant around the house chucking stuff in nooks and crannies for some odd personal joy.

And so she lists some of her Nobel Prize deserving ideas [as bright as the formerly listed] and then says, "Wogay childran, yoo must nouw write thee yinformation on yae scrapboook yand shtick thee pikchures won yae kallarpul (colourful) paper, then barder (border) yit widh kallarpul glittar and shtick it on yae white paper and then shtick yit on skrapboook."

Yeah, so that is so eco-friendly right. As much as killing yourself is going to do you fantastic good in life.

I was sort of glad that we're....... wait. I just realized..... that participating in a national environmental WRITTEN project and possibly winning a lakh, a tv or a computer is doing absolutely ZILCH for the environment. So I was wrong! We were doing nothing productive to begin with! Great.

But anyway,

environmental awareness is becoming increasingly important [line ripped from ninth grade environmental education text book. would also like to add here that this same line is rephrased in two million ways to constitute a pointless hundred paged book that a ninth grader would probably burn in less than a few minutes after defeating rival - xams. We can save on this hundred wasted pages and burnt ash from book by ELIMINATING SUBJECT. Okay topic-deviating here. Sorry.]

I guess I have made my extremely pointless point here - If you can't save the environment, freakin leave it alone no. Stop pestering.

=D

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